So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
