If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
