sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
