Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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