Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
