i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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