Define "chronic" masturbator.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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