I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
