stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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