I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
