you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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