he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
