Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
