I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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