it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
