just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize