my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
