the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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