3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
