You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
two words: eviction party
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We talked him into tasing himself.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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