i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
