I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
