he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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