theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
