You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize