Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
