so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
