Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
