did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
