ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
