No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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