You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Are my feet made of real feet?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
