last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
