shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize