You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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