I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
