he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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