so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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