How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
