Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
