Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
