Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
People in love make me want to vomit
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
