in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
