butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
