Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
