she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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