I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
