this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
