alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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