But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
