i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
